Technically, as a foreigner here on a student visa, I am forbidden on pain of expulsion from the glorious PRC to undertake any form of paid work whatsoever. It seems to Communist minds this would dangerously confuse categories of foreigner, and threaten stability or something equally drastic.

However, this does not stop more or less everyone I meet trying to offer me work. I remember as a callow 18 year old I was a little shocked to be offered a job on entrance into a bar in Xian (teaching English, not anything else), merely as it was assumed that as I was a Westerner, of course I could speak English. On our somewhat abortive visit to Dalian's theme park, we encountered what seemed to be much of the expat population, employed as exotic dancers and stunt riders as to the Chinese mind there is nothing more incredible than Marilyn Monroe lookalikes on motorbikes... Other friends have been headhunted as models, acted in commercials, paid to attend events (as if Westerners are going, clearly it is a popular event), as well as the ever increasing demand for English teachers of all descriptions.

Having turned down most offers thus far, last week I was persuaded into accepting a one off teaching/conversational job along with a few friends, on the condition that it would  not really be teaching, more just casually answering a few questions to help learners with their conversational English. I was not entirely reassured, as in my experience, 'casual' would normally turn out to mean 'flung in front of a class of 80 overly enthusiastic students baying for blood, English or both'. However, it turned out, 'casual' this time really did mean casual. We were ushered inside, had tea forced upon us, and given sacrifical bright red waistcoats and then ushered out into a playground where we saw assembled a mob of grandparents and children.

The mob descended with eager cries of 'You come from what country?' and 'Your name is what?' and I quickly found myself encircled by a gang of possessive grandparents who glared and edged out the competition. As a result, I spent the next half a hour first answering questions in English, and then repeating myself in Chinese (as they did not really speak English), listening to answers in Chinese and then translating them back to English, which made for a slow conversation where I did three quarters of the work, but an interesting one all the same. I was regaled with tales of ex-air traffic controllers, Korean war veterans and a man who insisted on showing me every single one of his pictures of his recent trip to Europe, and explaining how he wrote an essay in honour of the previous Englishwoman (I think this may have been Ellen, who he met the previous week) he had met.

Definitely the easiest way I have earnt 10 pounds in some time. I shall volunteer for this again.

PS To any Communists or policemen of the PRC who happen to be reading this: the 10 pounds was of course a gift, and I am really not worth the time to chase down, honest...